Computer Rage

Over the past few months, my trusty Powerbook G4 has been falling apart.  It’s over four years old now, and it has experienced its fair share of drops, bangs, and overheating.  Apparently that last drop was a little too much for it, and it severely damaged the cable going to the screen.

Now, whenever the computer tilts, or jiggles, or the screen tips or jiggles (as laptop screens are bound to do), it goes involuntarily to sleep, and cannot wake up.  Or more specifically, it goes to sleep, tries to wake up, then goes to sleep, tries to wake up, etc etc.  It signs me on and offline (on Adium) over and over, and though the screen is black, I can hear my sign on alerts and people messaging me.  Now it has even started doing it without the slightest tip, brush, or jiggle.  It’s pretty goddamned annoying.

This is the super-computer that I loved as dearly as a newborn infant.  And I treated it with the same amount of care and tenderness, as I routinely and lovingly wiped it down with $10 “Apple polish.”

This is the computer that traveled with me all over the place, and kept me sane and connected during my year in England.  It has been my constant companion, and a source of comfort to me during any and all difficult times.

This computer has seen me through countless essays and term papers, not to mention a 160 page undergraduate honors thesis and a Master’s dissertation. It has gone to libraries and coffee shops, pulled all-nighters with me, and provided me with an abundance of procrastination distractions as well.

In short, I have loved this computer to death.  The key word being DEATH because at this point, not being able to work on it for more than 10 minutes before it cycles into that horrid sleep-awake-sleep-awake loop makes me want to pick the thing up and SMASH IT INTO A WALL!  I want to throw it to the ground and STOMP ON IT.  This powerbook was built before those nifty magnetic power cords, and right now I spitefully fantasize about ripping out the power cord AT AN ANGLE and breaking it ON PURPOSE!  (As opposed to the other 4 power cords that got broken by accident due to BAD DESIGN.)    I want to punch right through its goddamn malfunctioning screen.

I have never experience computer rage such as this.  And it is doubly surprising when I consider how much I have truly loved this inanimate piece of machinery.  Part of me feels guilty for being angry at my beloved computer for being so old and frail.  But another part of me is glad that I am angry because, let’s face it, it’s not healthy to be so emotionally attached to a machine.

So here’s to saying goodbye, moving on, and finding the money to buy a new Macbook!