Being a grad student is bad for your health

I performed the correct grad school behavior today, which means that I spent the entire day working on my dissertation.  I spent the entire day sitting at my desk, only leaving my flat once to pick up some junk food at the next-door Sainsbury’s.

Being a good grad student has caused my leg muscles to atrophy, and my back, shoulders, and neck muscles to form massive knots and kinks.  Alternating between computer screen and small print journal articles and books has caused considerable eye strain.

Being a good grad student has caused me to substitute a normal, varied diet and meal differentiation with a continuing sandwich framework.  It has also caused me to abandon my normative, colloquial speech patterns in favor of heady, academic vocabulary and complex sentence constructions.

The act of recounting such ailments serves only to distract the subject from his or her primary task, otherwise known as “procrastination.”