February 14, 2008 § 1 Comment
I was lucky enough to receive a Valentine this morning, a little bag of candy hearts taped to my door. I have to say, though, some of these messages are a little odd.
“Chill Out,” for the stalker in your life.
“In a fog,” wait, who are you?
“E-mail me,” I try to check my inbox a couple times a week.
“It’s love,” stupid.
“IM me,” I haven’t left my computer in weeks.
“Be good,” because you really shouldn’t cheat on Valentine’s Day.
“I LU” 4VR.
“Sure love,” whatever.
“Cool,” like my feelings for you.
“My pet,” put on this leash and studded collar and I’ll take you for a walk baby.
“Marry Me,” wait! Damn! How did that get in there? Shit. Um, I’m sorry?
“Love me,” please? PLEASE?
And my personal favorite, “YOU OMG!” which needs no explanation.
So, if you’re going to send a special someone some candy hearts today, you might want to check and make sure they are sending the right message.
This is the message I want to send to my special someone, all the way across the Atlantic.
Happy Valentine’s everyone.